What do Pure Energy and hibernating squirrels have in common?

They both like to put their nuts in holes. Pu-Daw!

Ok, I'm aware many of you have already seen this, but it had to make my daily post...the first time I saw this, I was in tears. So if you haven't seen it, ENJOY!

I can only take credit for "Gonna Cold Shock Ya" as my NBA 2K2 and Mario Kart (slight variation: "Yoshi Gonna Cold Shock Ya") catch phrase...everything else I have is stolen. I also use "Mama Jama" for that spice marjoram, but that totally sucks.


Give me a fucking break. Do you mean to tell me that if people don't have animals, all the goddamn leaves will fall off trees?
Here's a little advice for you. Life without animals is just peachy. You think I want a fucking dog pissing all over my furniture? Think again.
By the way, why does that dog you drew have a fucking boner?

Holy fuck, what are you thanking the doctor for making your lips back to normal? Have you looked in the mirror lately? You have two gigantic testicles growing off the side of your head, dick face.
Do us all a favor. Castrate those goddamn things before you start ejaculating all over everyone.










Gee, is this a lightening storm or a goddamn black penis, thrusting itself from heaven into Mother Earth's cunt?
Jesus H. Christ, I don't know if I should get out my umbrella or grab some tissue and spank a couple off.















What does that caption say? "I'm glad I'm here?" Hey fuck face, have you looked where you're standing? You're underneath a goddamn Monster Truck. I don't know about you, but I'd feel safer in a South African brothel than I would standing in front of a fucking 8 foot tire.









Oh boy, where do I start on this one? Do I pick on the monstrous duck with it's bill in my ass, or the goddamn horse that looks like Sylvestor Stallone with a muzzle?
And what's with the flying blue testicle? Yeah, that one behind you with the fucking pussy willows growing out of it? It's going to be awfully hard outrunning that thing on a horse with two legs.






Ok, as you can tell from my persona, I'm a very religious person, which is why I have a bone to pick with this picture.
Here it looks like Jesus, aka God in the flesh, is born. Probably the most important event in human history. And look what's happening. Mary is over there playing with a sheep with major kidney failure, and Joseph is sporting the biggest goddamn boner I've ever seen. Have you ever seen the head of a penis which is cloven like a fucking pig foot? No wonder swine isn't kosher.
But bless this little child for drawing this picture. Without it, I would've had no idea that monstrous, three-legged rabbits roamed the Earth. And what the hell is that animal on the right? It's bigger than Joseph's throbbing dick and it has goddamn antennas growing out it's head.


No, you're not surrounded by hate. You're surrounded by knife-wielding parents who're trying to kill you, you misspelling bastard.
For fucks sake. You're smart enough to know how to correctly use an apostrophe, but you misspell 'surrounded'? And by the way, after looking at this wretched excuse for a picture, you're now surrounded by thousands of other people who hate you too.

Finally, we got the Falsetti Thunder in effect...now let's see the lightning, bitches! Also welcome to the Wattage, who's gonna pump this blog full of Electrictude! And also to Bushwackers, who will force Pure Energy and I to combine powers to overtake her!