Halloween Pics

Here are the Halloween Pictures (along with Emily's B-Day and the Boys Trip at Steve's Cabin)

http://sdblesi.zoto.com/

Our Blog Gets Quoted...in another blog!!!

http://www.dane101.com/WTASAM2

New Vikings Stadium

Max, you know this whole sex cruise thing is only "alleged" right? And even if it did happen, who cares? Who isn't down for bending a few Asian strippers over the side of a boat and yelling, "I'm king of the world!!!"? At least we got enough class to take the ladies out on a nice cruise boat. If this shit happened in Green Bay, it would be Ferguson, Green, and Farve all talking pointers from Mark Chamura on how to finger chicks at the local cheese farm sock hop.

I'm here to play 2 and 5 loud, cuz we are going to rock the Casbah tomorrow night as Axel and Slash...perhaps then you will be able to get the name Edinger out of your head. Now go purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.

Fuck Purple Reign (and Target)

Ok, you are all not going to believe this shit. Yesterday, Max and I went costume shopping all over Madison looking for the perfect Halloween attire for his party next Friday. We decided on the dope idea of being Prince (me) and the Revolution (Max). I had seen this costume called "Purple Reign" at Target a couple of weeks ago and was really stoked...so off we went. Our first stop was at the Halloween Superstore over on the Eastside...and they had everything ranging from grandmas with big schlongs to mammogram tester (still hilarious). I found the dope Prince costume and to my excitement, had to try it on without going into the dressing room. The snug plush velvet wrapped perfectly around my body, making me burst out the intro to "When Doves Cry." The white lace undershirt blissfully tickling the bottom of my chin making me giddy like a schoolgirl...like Kristin Scott Thomas from "Under the Cherry Moon." I scanned over the bag that held the costume and became dissmayed at the price: $39.00. No fucking way. Complete bullshit. So I figured it had to be cheaper at Target. We left the store with high hopes...placing all bets on the red bullseye.

Ok, so we head over to Target and roll into the costume section. Suprsingly, Target has a pretty decent adult costume section. They had "Crockett" from Miami Vice, "Michael" from Night Rider, and even Elton John. Imagine how excited I got when I found my precious "Purple Reign" costume for only $24.99. Fuck yeah!!!!!!!! But wait, they only had Mediums!!! Denied again...damn it! After further scrounging, Max finally uncovered a large that someone has stashed away in the female costume section. To complete the costume, I found an inflatable red guitar...for only $4.99. My complete costume for $30! Perfect. We ran up to the checkout line jumping up and down with anticipation. The cashier asked how I was doing and I responded, "I'm great, I found the best costume in the world." She said, "Wonderful...let me ring that up for you." She passed the tag over the scanner and suddenly the register started beeping at her. She said to hold on and called a manager over. Beads of sweat started to run down my forehead. I started wondering, "What's wrong? What's going on here?" The manager came over and told me the horrible news. The fucking "Purple Reign" costume had been recalled and Target could not sell it to me. Can you fucking believe that shit!!!! RECALLED!!!! I tried bargining with her, but she would have none of it. The cashier tried to ring in the inflatable guitar and I said, "Hold on sister, I don't fucking want that...what and I going to do with a goddamn inflatable guitar without a goddamn costume" and then grabbed it out of her hands and threw it at her. Then the obsenities started flying out of my mouth. I have never been this upset in my life. After being dragged out of Target kicking and screaming, I was back to square one. I need to know why this costume is being recalled...so if anyone can help me out, please publish a comment. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And if anyone can find me an awesome RoboCop costume, please alert me as to where.

Kabbalah This!

WOW, what a response!!!

Well, it seems this blog has been abanonded worse than a theater showing of Angel Eyes. Look, I realized I was out of commission for awhile there, but if no one gives a shit, let's just call it a day. I've already dedicated like 3 hours to this whole blogventure...and I'm starting to regret it (that is until more people start posting...thanks artfag). C'mon, we've had some good times here, haven't we? Remember that one I did about Rutger Hauer and how it made you laugh so hard? Remember the good ole' days with the FantaSuites? People, I can't do this solo.

This will be my last post until Pure Energy gets off his tan ass and starts posting again about his awesome premise for Alone in the Dark 2: Die Darker. That brings me to my final point...the fucking greatest action story ever told. And no, it's not Willow. It's also the best story ever told on film...I bring you #1. Also, if anyone wants to replace PE, send me an email at fuckrobbaxter@hotmail.com. We've got an open casting call...Steve, you can still post with your mac, dude.

1. Die Hard (1988): Roger Ebert once wrote, "On a scale of 1 to 10, I give Die Hard 100!!" Actually, right now I'm thinking of throwing in the dvd again for another mid-morning showing...and it's only 9:30 am. It's almost impossible to encapsulate the awesomeness of Lt. John McClaine ("Welcome to the party, pal," "No fucking shit, lady. Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?) with his take-no-prisoners above the law attitude, perfect "Yippe-Kay-Ay" pitch, and firehose swinging abilities.

Move over Stallone...Cobra sucked. Take a seat Arnold...Red Sonja was like watching Brad teabag a hedgehog...very, very painful. Van Damme...PLEASE, who cares if you can crush walnuts with your ass?!...Bloodsport should've been called RedFoodColoringsport, you pussy. Steven Segall...dude you lost all credit with the moo-moo (although Out for Justice should've made the original list)...and why you rollin' with DMX? To put it simply: Bruce Willis (in Die Hard) is the best action star ever. The white blood-stained wife beater, the shards of glass in the feet, the beating he takes from Karl (the blonde dude)...all show his ability to take a licking and keep on ticking.

And who could forget the merciless performance by Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber ("Go tell Karl his brother is dead," "I wanted this to be professional, efficient, adroit, cooperative not a lot to ask. Alas, your Mr. Takagi didn't see it that way so he won't be joining us for the rest of his life," "You really think you have a chance against us Mr. Cowboy?"). Hands down best villian ever.

I could go on and on, but I've grown tired. Tired of trying to please an empty stadium. Now I know how The Toadies must feel.