Fuck Purple Reign (and Target)

Ok, you are all not going to believe this shit. Yesterday, Max and I went costume shopping all over Madison looking for the perfect Halloween attire for his party next Friday. We decided on the dope idea of being Prince (me) and the Revolution (Max). I had seen this costume called "Purple Reign" at Target a couple of weeks ago and was really stoked...so off we went. Our first stop was at the Halloween Superstore over on the Eastside...and they had everything ranging from grandmas with big schlongs to mammogram tester (still hilarious). I found the dope Prince costume and to my excitement, had to try it on without going into the dressing room. The snug plush velvet wrapped perfectly around my body, making me burst out the intro to "When Doves Cry." The white lace undershirt blissfully tickling the bottom of my chin making me giddy like a schoolgirl...like Kristin Scott Thomas from "Under the Cherry Moon." I scanned over the bag that held the costume and became dissmayed at the price: $39.00. No fucking way. Complete bullshit. So I figured it had to be cheaper at Target. We left the store with high hopes...placing all bets on the red bullseye.

Ok, so we head over to Target and roll into the costume section. Suprsingly, Target has a pretty decent adult costume section. They had "Crockett" from Miami Vice, "Michael" from Night Rider, and even Elton John. Imagine how excited I got when I found my precious "Purple Reign" costume for only $24.99. Fuck yeah!!!!!!!! But wait, they only had Mediums!!! Denied again...damn it! After further scrounging, Max finally uncovered a large that someone has stashed away in the female costume section. To complete the costume, I found an inflatable red guitar...for only $4.99. My complete costume for $30! Perfect. We ran up to the checkout line jumping up and down with anticipation. The cashier asked how I was doing and I responded, "I'm great, I found the best costume in the world." She said, "Wonderful...let me ring that up for you." She passed the tag over the scanner and suddenly the register started beeping at her. She said to hold on and called a manager over. Beads of sweat started to run down my forehead. I started wondering, "What's wrong? What's going on here?" The manager came over and told me the horrible news. The fucking "Purple Reign" costume had been recalled and Target could not sell it to me. Can you fucking believe that shit!!!! RECALLED!!!! I tried bargining with her, but she would have none of it. The cashier tried to ring in the inflatable guitar and I said, "Hold on sister, I don't fucking want that...what and I going to do with a goddamn inflatable guitar without a goddamn costume" and then grabbed it out of her hands and threw it at her. Then the obsenities started flying out of my mouth. I have never been this upset in my life. After being dragged out of Target kicking and screaming, I was back to square one. I need to know why this costume is being recalled...so if anyone can help me out, please publish a comment. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And if anyone can find me an awesome RoboCop costume, please alert me as to where.