WOW, what a response!!!

Well, it seems this blog has been abanonded worse than a theater showing of Angel Eyes. Look, I realized I was out of commission for awhile there, but if no one gives a shit, let's just call it a day. I've already dedicated like 3 hours to this whole blogventure...and I'm starting to regret it (that is until more people start posting...thanks artfag). C'mon, we've had some good times here, haven't we? Remember that one I did about Rutger Hauer and how it made you laugh so hard? Remember the good ole' days with the FantaSuites? People, I can't do this solo.

This will be my last post until Pure Energy gets off his tan ass and starts posting again about his awesome premise for Alone in the Dark 2: Die Darker. That brings me to my final point...the fucking greatest action story ever told. And no, it's not Willow. It's also the best story ever told on film...I bring you #1. Also, if anyone wants to replace PE, send me an email at fuckrobbaxter@hotmail.com. We've got an open casting call...Steve, you can still post with your mac, dude.

1. Die Hard (1988): Roger Ebert once wrote, "On a scale of 1 to 10, I give Die Hard 100!!" Actually, right now I'm thinking of throwing in the dvd again for another mid-morning showing...and it's only 9:30 am. It's almost impossible to encapsulate the awesomeness of Lt. John McClaine ("Welcome to the party, pal," "No fucking shit, lady. Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?) with his take-no-prisoners above the law attitude, perfect "Yippe-Kay-Ay" pitch, and firehose swinging abilities.

Move over Stallone...Cobra sucked. Take a seat Arnold...Red Sonja was like watching Brad teabag a hedgehog...very, very painful. Van Damme...PLEASE, who cares if you can crush walnuts with your ass?!...Bloodsport should've been called RedFoodColoringsport, you pussy. Steven Segall...dude you lost all credit with the moo-moo (although Out for Justice should've made the original list)...and why you rollin' with DMX? To put it simply: Bruce Willis (in Die Hard) is the best action star ever. The white blood-stained wife beater, the shards of glass in the feet, the beating he takes from Karl (the blonde dude)...all show his ability to take a licking and keep on ticking.

And who could forget the merciless performance by Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber ("Go tell Karl his brother is dead," "I wanted this to be professional, efficient, adroit, cooperative not a lot to ask. Alas, your Mr. Takagi didn't see it that way so he won't be joining us for the rest of his life," "You really think you have a chance against us Mr. Cowboy?"). Hands down best villian ever.

I could go on and on, but I've grown tired. Tired of trying to please an empty stadium. Now I know how The Toadies must feel.