Madison
Yo, peeps! Sorry the blog hasn't been updated very much recently. I blame it on Pure Energy, whose lack of responsibility is equivalent of the time he failed to save me while drowning in a Puerto Rican pool. But, on the flip side, I'll be moving to Madison on Sunday and will have lots of free time on my hands to entertain you fools. Let me break down my schedule for next week (and the weeks to come):
Monday: Look for job and fail. Move into Max's condo and mooch off of him relentlessly. Pray to God he still likes me after that time I tried to donkey punch him in the bathroom during the 4th of July fireworks show on his patio. Smoke a bonger and then make a sandwich on rye. Give myself a massage for all the hard moving work I did.
Tuesday: Wake up at nooner. Look for a job again and fail. Consider going back to REM and working with the non-talking, fist-punching, loud moaning crazies. Figure out the bus schedule to get to East-Towne mall, as I need to replace the tv I already broke at Max's place. Tuesday night is GAME NIGHT, invite over Neums, Steve, Melanie, B.J., and Kelly over to Max's at 1:00 am for some TP or Beans. Wake up Max and Emily. Laughter ensues. (GAME NIGHT will alternate every week with POKER NIGHT)
Wednesday: Take job at REM making $8.00 an hour. Consider killing self. Ponder why I even moved to Madison in the first place. Show up at kojo's work with a picnic lunch. Bust in on important meeting saying, "HOLY FUCK, you wouldn't believe how awesome this potato salad is" and then get escorted out of the building by security. Ask Max and Emily if they could re-paint my room because yellow just doesn't do it for me and is kinda sissy. Wednesday Night is DINNER NIGHT, invite over friends again, make everyone bring a dish to pass around. I bring a half-eaten bowl of green Jello that I made on Monday. (DINNER NIGHT will alternate every week with COCKTAIL NIGHT)
Thursday: Wake up early at 10:30. Go to REM training. Decide I don't want to work there and get an application at Qdoba instead. Say hi to Neums while picking up application. Walk down State Street looking for The Den or Radical Rye. Can't find them and start to cry. The mushrooms I ate start to kick in. Go to Walgreens and steal some candy. Can't find way back to Max's place and end up at the Lakeshore Dorms handing Sweet Tarts to college freshmen. Thursday night is MOVIE NIGHT, get everyone together to shoot a movie like in the olden days. Get really drunk while taping "Pimpomercial 2: Electric Pimpaloo" and fall down stairs, breaking camera. (MOVIE NIGHT does not continue in to weeks 2 or 3).
Friday: After waking in my own vomit, Max and Emily decide to have a talk with me. I yell at them and say, "Oh I have a drinking problem...I have a a drinking problem" Leave condo in angry huff. Call Steve and ask if I can crash on his couch, but then realize he has no tv. Call kojo and leave 30 messages on her voicemail to take me back. Find liquor store and start brown-baggin'. Call Todd and asks if he want to come up and go shopping at Ragstock with me. Friday Night is BOWLING NIGHT. Get together with my bowling league and try to come up with a super hilarious name for our team. After my idea of "Corporal Pinishment" gets shot down, I leave Shwelger's and walk to the nearest Super 8.
Saturday: Start job a Qudoba and get fired for burning the rice. Sell ipod for bus ticket. Hope on Greyhound back to Minneapolis.
Monday: Look for job and fail. Move into Max's condo and mooch off of him relentlessly. Pray to God he still likes me after that time I tried to donkey punch him in the bathroom during the 4th of July fireworks show on his patio. Smoke a bonger and then make a sandwich on rye. Give myself a massage for all the hard moving work I did.
Tuesday: Wake up at nooner. Look for a job again and fail. Consider going back to REM and working with the non-talking, fist-punching, loud moaning crazies. Figure out the bus schedule to get to East-Towne mall, as I need to replace the tv I already broke at Max's place. Tuesday night is GAME NIGHT, invite over Neums, Steve, Melanie, B.J., and Kelly over to Max's at 1:00 am for some TP or Beans. Wake up Max and Emily. Laughter ensues. (GAME NIGHT will alternate every week with POKER NIGHT)
Wednesday: Take job at REM making $8.00 an hour. Consider killing self. Ponder why I even moved to Madison in the first place. Show up at kojo's work with a picnic lunch. Bust in on important meeting saying, "HOLY FUCK, you wouldn't believe how awesome this potato salad is" and then get escorted out of the building by security. Ask Max and Emily if they could re-paint my room because yellow just doesn't do it for me and is kinda sissy. Wednesday Night is DINNER NIGHT, invite over friends again, make everyone bring a dish to pass around. I bring a half-eaten bowl of green Jello that I made on Monday. (DINNER NIGHT will alternate every week with COCKTAIL NIGHT)
Thursday: Wake up early at 10:30. Go to REM training. Decide I don't want to work there and get an application at Qdoba instead. Say hi to Neums while picking up application. Walk down State Street looking for The Den or Radical Rye. Can't find them and start to cry. The mushrooms I ate start to kick in. Go to Walgreens and steal some candy. Can't find way back to Max's place and end up at the Lakeshore Dorms handing Sweet Tarts to college freshmen. Thursday night is MOVIE NIGHT, get everyone together to shoot a movie like in the olden days. Get really drunk while taping "Pimpomercial 2: Electric Pimpaloo" and fall down stairs, breaking camera. (MOVIE NIGHT does not continue in to weeks 2 or 3).
Friday: After waking in my own vomit, Max and Emily decide to have a talk with me. I yell at them and say, "Oh I have a drinking problem...I have a a drinking problem" Leave condo in angry huff. Call Steve and ask if I can crash on his couch, but then realize he has no tv. Call kojo and leave 30 messages on her voicemail to take me back. Find liquor store and start brown-baggin'. Call Todd and asks if he want to come up and go shopping at Ragstock with me. Friday Night is BOWLING NIGHT. Get together with my bowling league and try to come up with a super hilarious name for our team. After my idea of "Corporal Pinishment" gets shot down, I leave Shwelger's and walk to the nearest Super 8.
Saturday: Start job a Qudoba and get fired for burning the rice. Sell ipod for bus ticket. Hope on Greyhound back to Minneapolis.
posted by Blind Fury at
12:01
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